Things You Should Know About Me. Pt 2:

I'm so excited to pick up from where we left off last time. Here are six more things to know about me.

Number FIVE

I'm a lawyer. I have a core interest in social justice. I'm a qualified legal practitioner whose only interest in law stem from what the law can do to or for underprivileged persons in society. I want to know how the law can protect my neighbor with obvious sullen purplish eyes everyone ignores because she's no one. And how my brother who struggles with delusions and psychosis can get the best mental health care at an affordable rate. I like to see the impact of the law on the environment. To be able to walk around, knowing fully well that our hazardous lifestyle on mother earth is being curbed by policies. To see young girls free to dream big without fear that they'll be married off to older men as objects because they too have protected rights under the law, and seeking redress for a breach is swift and effective. I may not live in an ideal society yet, but I'm hoping it gets better as I do my small part.

Number 6:
I'm an intersectional feminist. When I'm not talking about psychology or psychiatry or law, you'll find me tearing down patriarchal systems in Nigeria. I'm all about gender equality and irrespective of how I'm perceived, I'll never change this. As a result, I'm not always a nice person and I've found peace with that.

Number 7:
I’m a survivor. You probably already know this but not the depth of it. I escaped being molested by a man when I was 7. That day ultimately shattered my nervous system and I was never the same again. Months later, I was sexually abused by two girls, a year older than me. Later that same year, I was molested by a teenager. When I turned 8, I was sexually abused by a male pastor repeatedly until I turned 11. I thought that was all but later on, at the age of 22, I was abused by a radiologist unknowingly. Emotionally, I’ve been mentally abused especially in the church. The pastor who abused me, manipulated, and dominated me so much I thought being abused was God’s plan for me. Now, I know this isn’t true. Religion and faith have been wielded against me several times. Right now, I’m taking all the time I need to heal.

Number 8:
I’m also a grief survivor. I won’t talk about this often on this page as I have a different platform for it but I think you should know this. Last year, I lost my beloved brother and it changed me. I miss him so much every day and I try to keep his memory alive with me. I have him to thank for confronting my abuser and making sure the abuse stopped. He’ll always be my hero, the best person I know.

Number 9:
I'm a psychology/psychiatry enthusiast. This isn't a secret to anyone. It's on my bio and for those close to me, this is one thing that truly shines. What most people don't know, however, is why I'm this way. Last year, after deep reflections and meditation, I realized I wasn't an enthusiast because I wanted to be a psychologist or psychiatrist or any other expert per se, I became one because I was hurt and in pain. I needed help and it wasn't coming forth. Everything I know is a skill I've built to help myself. Accessing mental health care in Nigeria is difficult and expensive. Even when you get an expert, it's harder to get a trauma specialist who treats trauma as a psychosocial disability. I don't have anything against medications but I want to work through the CPTSD with therapy. I don't want clinical depression or anxiety or Borderline Personality Disorder to be used to mask the fact that my brain is responding in a perfectly normal way given what I've experienced. Maybe I'll become an expert myself in the future but for now, I know my interest stem from the pain I need help with.

Number 10:
I enjoy being invisible. I bet this doesn't come as a surprise to you. Beyond writing anonymously, I'm also someone who doesn't actively seek out fame. I want what the Bible describes as a ''quiet and sober life''. 😄😄😄. This is not to say I'll run from it if it finds me, but I'll not seek it out for myself. I write to document my healing journey. I write for my parents who are clueless about abuse and for others like them. I write for my sister's friend who's also a survivor so she doesn't feel alone. I write for one person at a time, in hopes their lives will be touched. Whatever happens in addition to this, is not for me to worry about.

This is all I can think of sharing at the moment. If something else comes up, you'll be the first to know. Feel free to drop a comment or send me a mail at isurvivetrauma@gmail.com describing yourself. I'll love to hear from you.